My exclusive interview with President Abraham Lincoln
Abe: I'm very pleased to be here, Bo. And please, call me Abe.
Bo: Abe, you are ranked as one of the top people (living or dead) whom folks would most like to meet. How do you feel about that?
Abe: Why anyone would choose to while away their time with me rather than a fascinating fellow like Tommy Jefferson has me stumped. He's a lot smarter and a good deal prettier.
Bo: I think you sell yourself short, sir.
Abe: I'm a simple man who had no ambition so great as that of being truly esteemed of my fellow men, by rendering myself worthy of their esteem.
Bo: What role did animals play in your life?
Abe: I've felt a tenderness toward animals since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. As I matured, my appreciation of them, and my compassion for them, deepened. Though I must admit, upon my arrival to my heavenly home I was met by my old dog, Joe, who most generously forgave me for causing him pain during a foolhardy, youthful escapade with my step-brother. That experience caused me a great deal of guilt and I spent the rest of my earthly days an ardent advocate against the abuse of animals, not a popular sentiment in my time.
Bo: Did you have a preference for dogs or cats?
Abe: I was blessed to have the opportunity to care for an abundance of both during my life and found it impossible to turn my back on any animal in need. I returned baby birds to their nest, rescued a stranded pup from a frozen stream, sacrificed my one good suit to free a pig from a mud-hole and brought home countless dogs and cats who had no home of their own. But my wife, Mary, always said that cats and kittens were my "hobby."
Bo: Did you have a favorite pet?
Abe: I was always partial to our dog Fido. That dog followed me all over Springfield as I tended to business. He often carried papers for me and would even wait quietly outside the barber's shop while I got my weekly trim.
Bo: Did Fido accompany you to the White House?
Abe: Sadly, no. As the town folk celebrated my electoral victory it became apparent that Fido was terrified of loud sounds. That aversion coupled with his fear of trains had me worried that he would not survive the trip to our new home in Washington.
We found a family who promised to love and care for Fido and were agreeable to our stipulations that he be an indoor dog, allowed the run of the house and given special treats. We even gave them Fido's favorite horsehair sofa.
Abe: I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts.