Crate-gate: Seamus Romney defected after infamous rooftop car ride
In case you missed the nightmarish tale of Mitt Romney's family vacation in '83, here's how it went down:
The Romney clan piled into the family station wagon for their annual 12 hour trek from Boston to Ontario. Things being a bit snug inside, Mitt made the executive decision to put the family dog, Seamus, in a pet carrier and strap it to the roof of the car. To make the voyage even more enjoyable for his pet, Mitt made a windshield for the crate.
During the ride, one of the kids alerted Dad that there was a brown liquid dripping down the back window, so Mitt calmly pulled off of the highway and into a gas station where he hosed down the dog and the car, put Seamus back in his penthouse perch, and carried on.
Okay, I get that things were different in the 80's, no seat-belt laws and certainly not the array of products or safety standards for pet travel that we have today but come on...Seamus was clearly in distress (thus the dripping brown liquid) so what does Mitt do? Hose the poor guy off and stick him right back on the roof? You're one frigid fur-father, Mr. Romney.
According to Dr. Russell Cumming, a professor of aerospace engineering at California Polytechnic State University, "He would constantly feel a little less than 3 pounds pressing on his head for the entire trip.
Chances are the windshield would only protect the front of the dog, but the air flowing around the windshield would buffet the side of the dog -- that would be tiring," said Cummings. "My wife's a vet, and she would be more worried by the dehydration of the dog's eyes under those conditions."
We've also learned that Mr. Romney may have left an important detail out of his tale-telling...according to a trusted Politicker tipster, Mitt's sons told reporters that Seamus ran away once they'd reached their vacation destination. Who can blame him?! But wait, Romney's wife, Ann, told reporters that Seamus made it to Ontario in one piece and went on to live to a "ripe old age." Which version is true?
Whether Seamus defected or stuck around for more "good-times" with the family, there's no denying that he was terrified, tired and dehydrated after 12 hours on the roof. If that's Mitt's idea of a fun-filled family vacation, I'd rather let the vet pull a tooth without anesthetic, thank you very much.
Check-out the new Mutt Romney Blues video